Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
