okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
