In the future we'll all be gay
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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