I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
