so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
