I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
