I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
