I can tuck mytits in my pants
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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