I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
