i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
