he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
