overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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