i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
