1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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