I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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