I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
