So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
