What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the raccoons are back...
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