Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
