I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
