her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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