No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
