He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
