ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
