Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
