Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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