Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
