I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
