he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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