well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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