my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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