Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
