You're so nebulous sometimes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
His nipple licking is glorious
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