And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
