My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
