thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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