I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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