I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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