You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
