I cannot find my penis.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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