So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Less talking, more tequila
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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