You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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