I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
