I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
