just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize