You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm at about main and main street
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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