You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
