Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
