I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
