He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
