i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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