oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
